It‘s Fall – Time for Self-Compassion

Fall is probably my favorite season. The summer heat has disappeared and we have room to breathe again. Early morning fogs make the landscapes look like a magical window to another space and time. The woods transform from green to yellow and orange and red. It‘s time to reap the harvest.

And not only in an agricultural sense. Our personal accomplishments shine the most when we can relax after the grinding for success and just enjoy what we have built. Whether it is a step in our careers, finances, personal development or our relationships.

Fall is the perfect season to enjoy our success and be proud of ourselves

That brings me to the topic I would like to talk about. Why is it so hard for some of us to be proud of ourselves? To look in the mirror and say: ‚Well done.‘ We do it for other people but when it comes to ourselves it sometimes seems too hard to do. Or we don‘t even have a concept for that.

In an attempt to push our success further and further we learn from our caregivers (parents, teachers, society in general) that whatever we accomplish, it is not enough. We hear it from their mouths or see it in their behavior towards us. What we do is not enough. And that way we get conditioned to feel that we as people are not enough.

For us women that is partucularly problematic as our accomplishments are still often undermined or being ignored. Of course that leads to all kinds of problems. Workaholism and unrealistic expectations towards ourselves being two of them.

So how do we leave that behind and start being proud of ourselves?

Like everything related to mental health it‘s a process. A start would be to feel compassion for ourselves. We did the best we could under the circumstances we had to deal with. Not easy to see ourselves that way sometimes, right?

Try this: How would you feel towards your best friend or your little sister if they were in this same situation? Would you be proud of them? If so, try and treat yourself like your little sister. Always works for me and feels sooo good.

So enjoy the fall and be proud of yourself for everything that you have accomplished so far. It was not easy and you did well.